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September 28, 2007

Purr-sessed

I don't know what's growlin' on, but lately, I've felt compelled to sniff and shred all the tissues in the trash. When Dad's not looking, I'm growlin' to town, and I don't give a woof how exas-purr-ated he gets.

Wait a minute! Exas-purr-ated?

This house is starting to freak me out.
  1. I live on DOGbar court, as in dogs are barred from the premises, not like the sitcom, Cheers, where every dog howls your name.
  2. I live in a house that smells like a cat.
  3. The floor is made by Purr-go.
  4. And my behavior is changing.
I think I'm purrsessed.

September 26, 2007

Pant for the Camera

The picture doesn't show it well but we're sitting on a little rock bridge. We can walk under it and on it. And you get a glimpse of ColoDOGo Springs in the distance.

B.

September 20, 2007

How Are We Related?

Dad laughs at the most inappropriate things.

"Bella. Why do you have a fruit sticker on your tail? Ha ha ha!"

"Uh, hello. It's not like I know. I didn't I put it there."

And this morning he was laughing at Orsa.

"Orsa. What's that thorn doing in your nose?"

"Probably causing pain Dad. I'm pretty sure she didn't get the thorn in the house, which means she got it outside and had it stuck in there all night long."

Tell me how we're related again?

B.

September 15, 2007

Dog Gone Crazy

Barkccoli? Is she crazy?

O.

The Kitchen Dance

Papa got a brand new stove. And he fixed himself a meal tonight, which reaffirmed this kitchen thing ain't working.

He opens a cabinet door, and I gotta move. He opens the dishwasher, and I gotta move. He opens the big cold food box where the cheese lives, and I gotta move.

When is that old dog gonna learn to keep everything open so I can find place to plop down and wait for the manna to fall from the counter?

"DAD! Can you hear me? Keep everything open so I don't have to keep moving. Woof!"

Happily, the kitchen dance did bear fruit tonight. But maybe I should say it bore vegetables - raw barkccoli. I've never had it before, but I'll eat it again; although, it's not my first choice.

Like I said, barkers can't be choosers.

B.

September 12, 2007

Innocent: A Tale of Vomit VinDOGcation

5:00 a.m. The air is still. A stomach rumbles and roils, and a man leaps out of bed.

"Noooo! Don't throw up!"

A dark dash across an unfamiliar room. The lights are thrown, and there, under the glare - of a prematurely awakened papa - a criminal is caught in the act.

"The bitch set me up," she woofs. But the truth is that retchers are creatures of heaving habit - same bat place, same bat time.

The truth will set you free
.

O.

I Will Not Blame My Sister for the Mess I Make

I will not blame my sister for the mess I make.
I will not blame my sister for the mess I make.
I will not blame my sister for the mess I make.
I will not blame my sister for the mess I make.
I will not blame my sister for the mess I make.
I will not blame my sister for the mess I make.
I will not blame my sister for the mess I make.
I will not blame my sister for the mess I make.
I will not blame my sister for the mess I make.
I will not blame my sister for the mess I make.
I will not blame my sister for the mess I make.
I will not blame my sister for the mess I make.

B.

September 9, 2007

What Goes Downstairs Must Come Up

I refuse to go downstairs. There's no point. Bella follows Dad around like a needy puppy. Up. Down. Up. Down. When is she gonna figure out, that what goes downstairs must come up. The doors to the outside are upstairs. And the doors downstairs lead to rooms with nothing in them.

O.

Barkers Can't Be Choosers

Dad finally went to the grocery story and stocked the refrigerator, which means he was able to make a meal for himself rather than dropping dough on a burrito or a buffet. It's no fun when he eats out because Orsa and I get left in the back of the truck while he feeds his face.

We've been in this house for two weeks with no people food, so I just discovered that our new kitchen isn't as "cooking together friendly" as the old one. There's nowhere to lay down while I wait for Dad to make a mess.

The minute I got comfortable, Dad needed to open that specific cabinet door. Then once I moved, he needed to open that cabinet door. It was agGRRRvating! What am I gonna do? I look forward to those vittles from heaven.

Then again, I doubt he'll pick up anything that drops on the floor. I just have to be patient, like earlier, when he spilled some coffee beans.

Why he puts food in a vase and thinks it smells good is beyond me, but I'm glad he does, because a few of the beans provided me an afternoon snack. They started pleasant enough but finished with a bitter taste. I'm not complaining though; barkers can't be choosers.

B.

September 7, 2007

Now It's a Home

A soiled house means home. And this time it was Princess Orsa in the stairwell with a Bleh! Too many weeds as an after dinner snack, I dare say. Good on ya sis!

B.